it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize