it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize