Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
