come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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