She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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