Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Randomize
