let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize