I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
