I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
