Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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