Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize