I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
