Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
