hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
