Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Text me some of your sweat
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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