break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I checked into jail on foursquare
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
