i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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