I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
