i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
