we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
