it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
