I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
