Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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