So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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