How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
