I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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