When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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