You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
