Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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