i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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