worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
