I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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