this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
