i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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