Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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