Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
