you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
