It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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