I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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