A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
