I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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