Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i think my cat just said my name.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
