He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
