a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I need moral support for this bender
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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