Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
