He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
