i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
should my penis look like a turkey
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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