p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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