It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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