she was so not down for the gang bang
please come you make the beer taste better
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
