If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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