I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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