the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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