I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
