Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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