I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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