On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
