you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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