After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
