i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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