The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize