You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
