Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
