season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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