im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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